WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GRIEVING

DO SAY:

• “I’m sad to hear your (mother/father/sibling/friend) died.”
• “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”
• “What was (use their name) like?”
• “If you want to talk about what happened, I am here to listen.”
• “I don’t know what to say, but I want you to know I am here if you need a friend.”

AVOID SAYING:

• “I know how you feel.”
• “You’ve got to get over this.”
• “Try not to think about it.”
• Any cliché: “Time heals all wounds.” “They’re in a better place.” “You’ll be ok.”
• “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
• “Stay positive.”

Remember, what you say is not as important as just being there. There is no way to make it “better” for your grieving family member or friend. What most people who are grieving need is someone to be there who will listen and not judge them. Don’t be afraid to use the deceased person’s name or to share positive memories about them with your friend/family member if they are open to this.

Published on May 25 2016